Thursday, July 28, 2011

#1

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Words: This is the type of thing that my old maternal grandmother would look at and say, Well isn't that gawwwwwwgeous? Because she loved me a lot, and everyone's always afraid to admit that other people love them, but I'll fracture that a bit and say: man, that lady loved me a mean lot. I've been having dreams about thick, netted blood vessels rising to the tops of my skin. I got those roses for my high school graduation and sewed them together with white thread as they were dying, and there's something grotesque about having these dead things strung upside down to fade brown and fall apart above my bed, but maybe that's just my jacked-up mind talking from these weird dreams I've been having. A lot of the time, I feel like I can get wrecked just by idle time, but I'm learning to cradle whispers and dried flowers in my hands and focus on those, get a little blinded. Anyway, sometimes gawwwwwgeous things happen in real time, and the shock amplifies the happiness like a spiral. For example, I just found out that my favorite wounded soldier is returning from the deserts this weekend, and I bought Benjamin Hale's first book, finally. I met Ben Hale in a former summerlife and he had a lot of sage advice that I have put into my Advice Box and never forgotten, like: Don't try to make your writing mean anything, and All language has a place in a poem, and other things that would need diagram supplements to make sense. Although, sometimes they didn't make much sense even with the diagrams, at least not until much later, when summerlife died and the world changed its glasses. But that happens, on we go.

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